Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
two words...techno handjob
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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