Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize