I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
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