do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
