I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
she looked like the before picture.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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