i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
