Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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