I wish life had little blips of pornography
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
