White coat. Heels.
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
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The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
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She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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