sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
