You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Randomize
