i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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