Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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