I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
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