I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I smell stomach acid.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
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yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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