; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
