I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
