Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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