I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
