Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I smell like Dick and happiness
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
