I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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