Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
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Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
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Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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