oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Randomize
