that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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