I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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