just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
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