I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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