Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
