words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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