I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
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