Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
