I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
A bitchslap is in order.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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