I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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