garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
