don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
