Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
