you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
