Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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