I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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