You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
