You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Girls should come with a carfax report
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
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Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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