doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
