well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups