I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius