Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
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