Texts From Last Night

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  (469): View more from Texas

  Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick

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  (469): Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick http://tfl.nu/zqfp
  Replies (34) Good night (1368) Bad night (5600)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you

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  (908): i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you http://tfl.nu/oo8d
  Replies (36) Good night (1139) Bad night (4553)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins

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  (507): Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins http://tfl.nu/hk0d
  Replies (12) Good night (5760) Bad night (1177)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.

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  (617): she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax. http://tfl.nu/m9dz
  Replies (3) Good night (1258) Bad night (891)
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  (518): View more from New York

  The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.

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  (518): The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke. http://tfl.nu/afl9
  Replies (6) Good night (589) Bad night (2566)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.

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  (417): Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow. http://tfl.nu/if3b
  Replies (3) Good night (1587) Bad night (564)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity 

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  (225): And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity  http://tfl.nu/rf36
  Replies (1) Good night (1342) Bad night (532)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.

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  (217): Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day. http://tfl.nu/dztj
  Replies (3) Good night (998) Bad night (966)
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  (607): View more from New York

  You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.

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  (607): You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house. http://tfl.nu/rggh
  Replies (12) Good night (1546) Bad night (556)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.

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  (416): I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle. http://tfl.nu/y28u
  Replies (7) Good night (592) Bad night (1485)
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  (760): View more from California

  I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.

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  (760): I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired. http://tfl.nu/xk23
  Replies (4) Good night (1024) Bad night (506)
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  (863): View more from Florida

  I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.

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  (863): I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life. http://tfl.nu/jtja
  Replies (8) Good night (2746) Bad night (581)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.

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  (610): You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now. http://tfl.nu/4au1
  Replies (4) Good night (905) Bad night (401)
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  (228): View more from Mississippi

  Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.

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  (228): Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well. http://tfl.nu/vvbh
  Replies (10) Good night (1214) Bad night (519)
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis

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  (952): Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis http://tfl.nu/o9uq
  Replies (1) Good night (351) Bad night (217)

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