thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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