So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
