don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
