Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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