i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Randomize
