I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
