I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
