Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
