It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
