Got a toothbrush?
It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
