I am puke
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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