her facebook's as public as her vagina
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
