I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
it glows. i had to have it.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I want to be your penis for a week.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
