All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
